Call that friend, for that cup of coffee, or even better, wine...
- Mehmet Batili
- Feb 20, 2016
- 3 min read
On my journey of personal development, executive coaching, and mentoring, I’ve become an unabashed enthusiast for every workshop, training, seminar, webinar, congress, or meeting on the subject. Whether it’s an academic paper presentation, a meditative astral coaching session, or even dramaturgy lessons—I’m there. As coaches, we pride ourselves on practicing non-judgment, and I genuinely hold no judgment toward the wildly diverse experiences I’ve encountered. That said, I must admit, some moments are undeniably hilarious, and keeping a straight face can be a challenge. Occasionally.
Recently, I attended a session on Positive Psychology, with a focus on resilience. Our host, Ms Emily Larson delivered an illuminating presentation. A few insights stuck with me. The central takeaway? Resilience in life is closely tied to gratitude. Expressing authentic, unconditional gratitude to those around you not only strengthens your relationships but also enhances your emotional well-being. Apparently, there’s a robust body of research supporting this idea. It also aligns with principles found in various belief systems—be it religion, karma, or even McRel philosophy. (And yes, there’s a cheesy movie about it too.)
As is customary in these sessions, Ms. Larson ended by asking us what we’d take away and what we’d do differently. Inspired, I shared what I thought was a groundbreaking idea: “I have about 360 friends on Facebook. I’ll write to each of them—one person a day—to express my gratitude. It’ll be a year-long project.” Ms. Larson, ever the motivator, added, “...and you could reflect on it in your blog!” At the time, it felt brilliant.
But once the initial euphoria wore off, reality sank in. Writing heartfelt messages to 360 people—even one a day—is a Herculean task. And perhaps that was the point: to stretch myself. Yet after much reflection, I accepted that failure was a likely outcome. Still, failure breeds innovation, and soon the idea evolved into something more feasible: Instagram.
With a renewed sense of excitement, I formulated a plan:
Announce the project publicly to prevent friends from wondering if I’d lost my mind.
Name it something catchy: #Project3G—three emotions or inspirations tied to my gratitude for each person, shared with one of their photos.
To streamline the process, I created a template using Canva. Every #Project3G post followed this format:
A friend’s original Instagram picture as the background.
Their Instagram username on the left.
Three feelings or inspirations they evoke in me, represented as hashtags.
The project name at the top, my blog address at the bottom, and a sequence number in the top-right corner.
A single emoji in the top-left corner—an inside joke, just for fun.
Of course, I had concerns:
How to select people and in what order? I wanted diversity—not just old friends but also newer acquaintances.
How to handle privacy? For private accounts, I opted for “safe” pictures like scenic views, avoiding portraits or family photos.
How would people react? Would they think I was unhinged? Or worse, assume I had a crush on them? I resolved these fears by focusing solely on authenticity. When your feelings are genuine, you’re at peace with the consequences.
So, I began posting one #Project3G a day. My initial announcement garnered 13 likes—not exactly viral, considering my 200 followers. Undeterred, I pressed on. Featuring my daughter in a subsequent post gave me a modest bump in engagement, thanks to her tween network. But even my most daring GoPro snowboarding video only reached 37 likes. Observation #1: People don’t care much about emotional interactions involving third parties.
Some friends were confused, others intrigued. A few asked me in person about the project, and after I explained, they expressed appreciation. Observation #2: Authenticity must be clearly communicated, as social media often muddles intentions.
Interestingly, fellow coaches engaged the most, often reciprocating with their own gratitude. Observation #3: People have different wavelengths for receiving and reciprocating gratitude. There’s no one-size-fits-all method. From heartfelt cards to emoji-filled WhatsApp messages, gratitude takes many forms.
I stopped at post #17. Why? Partly because I felt I’d gathered enough data to draw meaningful conclusions for this post, and partly because the project was becoming a chore, clouding my original feelings. I might revive it someday—perhaps on a different platform like Tumblr.
For now, my takeaway is this: Show gratitude. Not on social media. Not via email. Messaging is borderline acceptable. A phone call is better. Even better, meet for a cup of coffee. Make it a habit. Push yourself to connect with the people around you—genuinely, authentically, and in person.