The Third Position: Holding Space in the Israel–Palestine Conversation

When I transitioned from the world of financial markets, where numbers and margins dictated my day, to the arena of professional development and executive coaching, I became privy to the raw emotions, struggles, and desires. It has made me recognize how integral empathy is, not only in interpersonal relationships but also in addressing larger sociopolitical issues. But, like many other nuances of our complex world, applying empathy towards the Israel-Palestine conflict can be a treacherous territory. I've often observed that even the most well-intentioned expressions of empathy can inadvertently trigger polarization. Let me share my perspective on how to navigate this.

The Israel-Palestine conflict, with its deep historical roots and multifaceted dimensions, has long been a contentious and polarizing topic. Often, when people express their empathy towards one side, it is misconstrued as a direct antagonism towards the other. What's more, the prevailing narrative, be it in media or casual conversations, frequently oversimplifies the nuances and the multifariousness of the conflict. But if one has learned anything from coaching and professional development, it's that nothing is black and white.

The essence of empathy lies not in merely understanding the feelings of another but in validating them. Validation does not mean agreement. I may not agree with someone's view, but I can understand the emotions that drive that view. This distinction is essential when discussing the Israel-Palestine conflict. It's possible, and indeed crucial, to recognize the fears, hopes, and traumas on both sides without becoming a proponent for either.

In our daily lives, it's not uncommon to encounter conversations, be it at the workplace water cooler or a family dinner, that touch upon the Israel-Palestine situation. The key to avoiding the pitfalls of polarization is to refrain from adopting a combative stance. Instead of trying to persuade or defend, opt to listen and inquire. Use phrases like "Help me understand" or "What are your thoughts on...?" Such dialogue allows for a space where multiple narratives can co-exist, and mutual respect can flourish.

There's another crucial aspect that's often overlooked. Even as you exercise empathy, be prepared to encounter resistance or disagreement. In such moments, it's worth remembering that your expression of empathy isn't for applause or consensus but for the sake of understanding itself. There's an underrated strength in choosing to remain empathetic in the face of adversity.

However, and I say this with the utmost conviction, the pursuit of empathy should never come at the cost of your well-being. If you find yourself in a situation where the conversation spirals into hostility or aggression, it's perfectly acceptable to step back, reassess, and choose your battles. After all, empathy should be healing, not draining.

In a world rapidly careening towards polarization, carving out a space for empathy, especially for such emotionally-charged topics, is no easy task. It requires courage, patience, and often a willingness to go against the tide. But, as someone who has navigated the high-pressure world of markets and the emotional depths of executive coaching, I can affirm that it's a journey worth embarking upon. After all, in the grand narrative of human connections, understanding and compassion are the threads that bind us all.